Why I raise my kids with heavy metal music

Did you know that one of the most popular questions in Google on the topic of heavy metal is “is heavy metal music bad for kids?”.

Clearly there is a lot of concern among parents that exposing their kids to the extremities of heavy metal music is going to ruin their bundle of joy forever and damage their future irreparably.

After all (sarcasm ahead), surely heavy metal music is all about violence, aggression, sex, hatred, rebellion and, lest we forget, the almighty devil himself. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for screwing up your child, would you?

Judging by the search results you get when you hit enter on “is heavy metal music bad for kids?”, I am not very hopeful this misconception would ever be truly debunked.

The fact that you Google whether heavy metal music “is bad” for you child already tells me its a battle up the hill.

I am equally aware that my opinion as a metalhead father on the matter may be immediately thrown out with the bathwater as a result of me being perhaps a bit biased.

Regardless, for what it is worth, in this little exposé I am going to tell you why I decide to raise my two youngsters with heavy metal music. Do with it what you will. My only hope is it will give you a different perspective on the matter and will make you think twice before you tell your child to turn off that horrible noise called heavy metal.

Let’s set the stage first.

Heavy metal music has been a major part of my own life ever since I turned 12 and my older brother gifted me the “Freak on a Leash” single by Korn. It all took off from there as I quickly moved from nu-metal to thrash metal, melodic death metal, a hint of black metal and finally any other metal genre I could get my hands on.

My parents may have thought “it is just a phase” but they never questioned whether this type of music would ruin their sweet teenager forever and lead him to a path of self-destruction. So, heavy metal was there to stay and it quickly became part of my very identity.

Fast forward to today and I am a 36-year old metalhead with two beautiful kids, age five and three.

It shouldn’t surprise you that introducing heavy metal music to my kids is a no-brainer.

First of all, it is a simple matter of allowing my kids to share in their dad’s passion. If you are passionate about your classic car, wouldn’t you love to see your toddler sit behind that wheel? I bet you’ll flip out your camera immediately and record that moment for memory sake. It’s the exact same thing with me and my passion for music.

It is not just about having them share in my passion, though. Even more so, it is about teaching them the beauty of having a passion for something, whatever it is. Something you can loose yourself in. Something you can call your own. Something that you identify with.

My parents understood the impact heavy metal had on me in a very positive way. It brought out my creativity. It gave me a release-valve for my emotions, either positive or negative. It helped me process feelings I didn’t know what to do with as a teenager. It gave me a sense of belonging and community. It gave me a sense of dedication. Finally, it gave me the tools to help me understand me as a person.

(Yes, heavy metal music can do that to a person. Ask any metalhead you find.)

My parents have always supported my passion for (extreme) music. Whether they liked the sound of the music or not was completely irrelevant to them. And I will be forever grateful to them for having done so.

That impact I experienced as a teenager and still experience to this very day I would love my kids to experience as well.

I am a 100% convinced it will make them a better person for it.

But let’s be honest here.

Any music genre can do this to a person. Not just heavy metal music.

Regardless of my passion, heavy metal is just another strand of music out there that can positively influence the life of a child.

So perhaps stop looking at heavy metal music as something inherently evil that will damage your child in the long run. You like your music for a reason, probably a good one at that. The same counts for your child who likes heavy metal. Don’t take that away from him.

Any negative impact heavy metal music may have on your child will most likely be caused by other psychological or sociological problems. Even though I firmly believe in the healing aspect of heavy metal music, I do see how the aggressive elements (either musically or lyrically) of some of metal’s subgenres could be a catalyst of a downward spiral a child is already in. However, let’s not kid ourselves and blame the music for your child going down a dark path. That path was most likely already laid out for him, regardless of his choice of music.

Back to my kids.

From a very early age on especially Dorian, our 3-year old, resonates strongly to heavy metal music. Whether it is the rhythm, the melodies, the energy or a combination of all is hard to tell at this moment. At the age of three he lacks the capacity to put this into words.

When we are in the car, he’ll ask for “daddy’s music”. When I turn up the volume of the latest metal track I discovered, he’ll be sitting in the back bopping is head, staring out the window, fully content with the moment.

When he is allowed iPad time in the weekends, more often than not he opens Spotify and turns on Powerwolf, his all-time favourite band at the moment. By himself. Because he wants to. Because it visibly makes him happy. He’ll either start dancing or, the opposite, takes that moment to be with himself and ignore the chaos of a household with kids.

Heavy metal is clearly something that resonates with him and he engages with. He is not just listening to the music. He feels the music.

Should I take that away from him?

Never will I ever.

Let your child listen to whatever it wants. It does not matter if it is an extreme pumping of guitar tones, a happy-peppy pop song or the soothing sounds of a violin. Observe how he reacts to the music. You’ll see that the style of music is irrelevant to the invaluable experience the child will have by listening to it. It will give him solace in hard times, joy in good times and perhaps even more than that, as it does for me and my boy.